Vote for Wap-Wap ’08!

9 09 2008

Many friends have been the recipient of a fun video that makes each of them the hot new contender in the presidential race (www.News3Online.com). I got a kick out of my younger sister’s response to my e-mail. (FYI: her childhood nickname was Wap-Wap—because that’s how she asked for an apple). I’ve told her (often) that she should be blogging because a) she can write, and b) at the very least, her family thinks she’s funny—maybe others will, too! Here is her e-mail below:

“Sorry I’m just getting back to you on this. I’ve been on the campaign trail the past few days and loving every minute of it. For someone that has historically stayed out of the spotlight I find myself adapting quite well to the rigors of campaigning and speaking in front of thousands of adoring fans. All those times I missed the student council meetings my freshman year in high school because I found it boring seemed to have paid off in the end. I am able to separate myself from the other candidates that simply toe the party line as I continue my quest of establishing myself as the candidate with absolutely no skill or experience to bring to the office. I say these things truthfully and all my constituents agree. No independent study or think tank or political pundit can deny what I stand for—which is nothing. I’m actually in the best position of all. I know nothing, can do nothing, and will bring nothing to the office except truth and justice—which should be the American way. Thank you for your continuing support…”


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2 responses

11 09 2008
CheyAnne Sexton

yeah cindy your sis CAN write. I’d vote for her

12 09 2008
Hershel Dyer

It is without hesitation and with the utmost enthusiasm that I endorse this candidate’s somewhat belated entry into the race for America’s highest political office. The lateness of her entry demonstrates one of her finest characteristics, and will further be evinced when she ascends to the presidency (or descends, depending on one’s opinion of the office).

I have known Wap-Wap since the moment of her birth, and I can say without reservation that she is the best candidate for the position. She stands head and shoulders (so to speak) above an overcrowded field of candidates, a field which has withered (no pun intended) to just four participants, two for president and two for vice-president.

Realizing the importance of my endorsement and its potential effect on the outcome of the pending election, I have refrained from endorsing any candidate until this moment. I have refrained because, with one exception, the other four people vying for the two highest offices in the land are like “peas in a pod.” To any critical rebuttal of that statement, I will concede that one of the peas (the exception) puts up a much better front than the others.

“Wap-wap” is undoubtedly the most unlikely, the most overestimated and the most unqualified candidate to appear on the political scene since Dan Quale was catapulted into office, despite his deficiency in the Latin language and his inability to spell potato. In fact it can be said that, compared to Wap-Wap, Dan Quale was “small potatoes.”

However (and this is a very important however), Wap-Wap’s promise to “. . . . . bring nothing to the office except truth and justice” makes her a shoo-in for the job. That inspirational statement means more to America than the combined promises of all the other candidates. Until now, no candidate has demonstrated the ability to capsule, in one brief homily, the most vital personal attributes necessary for anyone to lead our nation in these trying times. And even if one or more of them had that ability, none would dare give voice to it, fearing the inevitable storm of negatives it would generate.

In the interest of full disclosure I must note that, in addition to my recognition of the candidate’s sterling lack of ability and her innate ability to apply that lack to the requirements of the presidency, the candidate and I share last names. Those similarities are purely coincidental and should have no effect on the validity of my endorsement.

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