Po folks gardenin’

10 03 2008

Princess Gigi’s day started out like any other day. Coffee served in bed. A dose of Good Morning America, followed by Regis & Kelly. All the while, thoughts of spring swirled in her sleepy head. Thoughts of Wal-Mart and her need to usher in the season. Off she went, in her gas guzzling cherry red Jeep, to the big box giant. She expected to find her usual treasures that included Super Bubble gum and Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and perhaps some seasonal delights such as Nerds jelly beans. As she felt her blood sugar dwindling, she opted for a triple thick chocolate shake (small, of course) from McDonalds. And, not forgetting her one-eyed dawg, Gumbo, she picked up a plain double cheeseburger from the nifty dollar menu. After perusing the “fashion offerings” in the women’s department, she felt her pulse quicken as she neared the garden department she fondly thought of as mecca. She simply couldn’t resist the 10 cent herb seed collection and the assortment of bulbs on display. She felt herself magnetically drawn to a shelf of already-blooming Cyclamen. Red! Pink! White! Oh, they were so lovely; each one more beautimous than the last. A certain corner of her dining room needed a splash of color and she knew the price was right: $3.50, marked down from $7.88. Wanting to live a pilot’s lifestyle on a flight attendant’s salary, she knew she had to pace herself. It was, after all, just starting to warm up. Gardening season was barely upon her on this blustery March day. She chose a red specimen (her favorite color) and nestled it among her other various impulse buys. She proceeded to the self-scanning register. Much to her surprise, the perfect red Cyclamen rang up as .02, not $7.88, the original price. Not $3.50, as her 4-days-before scan had revealed. Just two cents! She fumbled for her cell phone to call the Head Weed. She just knew she would win the “best garden bargain EVER” award with this major coup! What would get her friend Cindy away from her mundane work faster than a two cent sale on Cyclamen at Wal-mart? And she was right. The Head Weed instructed her to buy every Cylamen in sight! Being the dutiful little Weedette that she is, she did as instructed. She ran back and filled her cart with all 15 plants. Total expenditure: 30 cents plus tax! She agreed to meet the Head Weed in the Target parking lot to share the loot and collect her 20 cents. Don’t believe this story? We have photographic proof and a partial receipt.

© Cindy Dyer. All rights reserved.

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